Ignorance is NOT Bliss: Developing a practice that authentically connects you to others
Have you ever been so deep into a new love interest situation where it feels like you don’t know the person you’ve been talking to? If you have then you have entered what I call The Stranger Danger Zone in a connection.
The Stranger Danger Zone is the emotional state you enter when you’ve recognized you don’t know much about the person that you’ve been romantically interested in. The zone can be immediate and obvious, especially when you first meet someone. It is obvious, because you might not know common facts like their last name, their birthday, or what they do professionally for work. However, it becomes a dangerous zone when you are more than 3 weeks or 3 dates (depending on the pace of the interest) into a new connection without a single idea of who a person may be.
The Stranger Danger Zone is dangerous because it is a silent acceptance that you do not have clear boundaries in dating.
Boundaries are present to give you foresight and projection about who you’ve invited into your life for companionship and romantic company.
Here are (3) three ways to lean into your pace of dating and keep you out of the Stranger Danger Zone:
Recognize the who, what, when, where, and why about the person
At the first meeting, this step prepares you for the dating journey. This method recognizes (1) who is the person that you are attracted to; (2) what do you know for certain about them such as their birthday, where they work, and a hobby they may have; (3) when will you fit them in your schedule?; (4) where do you envision dates with them; (5) most importantly, why would you be interested in this person?
Understand your Doors of Access for someone into your life
The “Doors of Access” is unique to Surely Made Match. It recognizes that your boundaries are important in the pace of dating.
Trust your insight and align your experiences
By now you have created a bubble of communication to meet someone new in your life. It is fair to trust what you’ve learned about a person from what they have shared and allow the stories to thread themselves with reality.
Understanding a person does happen organically. An optimistic person will believe that the truth will be revealed in transparency. The reality is that it takes gentle work to get to know someone. The fun part about this idea is that it should also be work to get to know you, too!
My goal as a relationship and dating coach is to help individuals understand their mode of attraction and their pace of dating. It is easy to fall in love–but I want each of my clients to rise in love, instead. Surely Made Match looks into the character traits and lifestyle habits that define a person and how they will partner to another. Contact Coach Jenn for more information on how to unlock your Doors of Access. Visit surelymadematch.com/services for more information.
